God created the dog and said:
“Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks by. For this, I will give you a life span of 20 years.”
The dog said:
“That’s a long time to be barking. How about only 10 years and I’ll give you back the other 10?”
Then God created the monkey and said:.
“Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this I’ll give you a 20 year life span.”
The monkey said:
“Monkey tricks for 20 years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back 10 like the dog did?”
And God agreed.
Next God created the cow and said:
“You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of 60 years.”
The cow said:
“That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for 60 years. How about 20 and I’ll give back the other 40?”
And God agreed.
Finally God made man and said:
“Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you 20 years.”
But man said:
“Only 20 years? Could you possibly give me my 20, the 40 the cow gave back, the 10 the monkey gave back, and the 10 the dog gave back; that makes 80, okay?”
“Okay,” said God, “You asked for it.”
So that is why for our first 20 years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next 40 years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next 10 years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last 10 years we sit on the porch and bark at everyone.
Showing posts with label Article. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Article. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Teacher Application
After being interviewed by the school administration, the teaching prospect said,
"Let me see if I've got this right:
"You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for learning.
"You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride.
"You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a checkbook, and apply for a job. You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, and make sure that they all pass the state exams.
"You want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps, and communicate regularly with their parents by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card.
"You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps. You want me to do all this and then you tell me:
I CAN'T PRAY?
Origanted from an e-mail I got.
"Let me see if I've got this right:
"You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for learning.
"You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride.
"You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a checkbook, and apply for a job. You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, and make sure that they all pass the state exams.
"You want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps, and communicate regularly with their parents by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card.
"You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps. You want me to do all this and then you tell me:
I CAN'T PRAY?
Origanted from an e-mail I got.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
When Your Huts On Fire
The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him.
Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed
forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut
out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store his
few possessions. One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home
to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky.
He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost. He was
stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, 'God! How
could you do this to me?' Early the next day, he was awakened by the
sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue him!
'How did you know I was here?' asked the weary man of his rescuers.
'We saw your smoke signal,' they replied.
The Moral of This Story:
It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we
shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in
the midst of our pain and suffering. Remember that the next time
your little hut seems to be burning to the ground. It just may be a
smoke signal that summons the Grace of God.
A friend of mine emailed me this and I thought it was a great encouragement.
I hope this encourages you also.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Household Uses For Lemon Juice
Lemons, originally called “the golden apples” originated in India and were used to trade for many other valuables. This fruit is just as useful to people today, and many don’t realize how many uses there are for the inexpensive lemon.
Do you have blemishes? Mix the juice of one medium lemon with one tablespoon of honey and apply to clean face. Rinse. Your skin will be glowing and future blemishes are greatly reduced.
Need buttermilk for a recipe but don’t have any on hand? Mix one cup of milk with a tablespoon of lemon juice for a buttermilk substitute that works great!
To sanitize your dishwasher and remove mineral deposits and odors, remove all dishes. Place ¼ cup of lemon juice in the soap dispenser and run through the normal cycle. Your dishwasher will be clean and smell wonderful!
To freshen a stinky garbage disposal, slice a medium sized lemon into the disposal and turn on the disposal with running water until the lemon is gone.
To clean grout around tiles, apply lemon juice and water with a toothbrush and scrub.
To clean copper pots, cover the surface of a half lemon with salt and scrub. Rinse and buff with a soft cloth for a beautiful shine.
To clean silver, clean with lemon juice and buff with a soft cloth.
Lemon juice also cleans the tarnish off brass.
To freshen the air, squeeze a few drops of lemon juice into the vacuum cleaner bag before vacuuming.
To clean glass shower doors, apply lemon juice with a sponge. Dry with newspapers for a sparkling shine.
To remove the smell of garlic or onions from your hands, rub with a lemon slice and rinse.
To brighten whites that can't be bleached, just pour a quarter of a cup of lemon juice into the washing machine.
If someone ends up with a small cut or scrape, dab it with some lemon juice to disinfect the wound. It will also take the itch out of poison ivy.
To remove fruit, baby formula stains, or rust on colored clothing, mix a paste of cream of tartar and lemon juice. After checking the fabric for colorfastness, apply the mixture and let it set for 15-30 minutes. When stain is lifted, launder as usual.
Taken from:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/35377/
Do you have blemishes? Mix the juice of one medium lemon with one tablespoon of honey and apply to clean face. Rinse. Your skin will be glowing and future blemishes are greatly reduced.
Need buttermilk for a recipe but don’t have any on hand? Mix one cup of milk with a tablespoon of lemon juice for a buttermilk substitute that works great!
To sanitize your dishwasher and remove mineral deposits and odors, remove all dishes. Place ¼ cup of lemon juice in the soap dispenser and run through the normal cycle. Your dishwasher will be clean and smell wonderful!
To freshen a stinky garbage disposal, slice a medium sized lemon into the disposal and turn on the disposal with running water until the lemon is gone.
To clean grout around tiles, apply lemon juice and water with a toothbrush and scrub.
To clean copper pots, cover the surface of a half lemon with salt and scrub. Rinse and buff with a soft cloth for a beautiful shine.
To clean silver, clean with lemon juice and buff with a soft cloth.
Lemon juice also cleans the tarnish off brass.
To freshen the air, squeeze a few drops of lemon juice into the vacuum cleaner bag before vacuuming.
To clean glass shower doors, apply lemon juice with a sponge. Dry with newspapers for a sparkling shine.
To remove the smell of garlic or onions from your hands, rub with a lemon slice and rinse.
To brighten whites that can't be bleached, just pour a quarter of a cup of lemon juice into the washing machine.
If someone ends up with a small cut or scrape, dab it with some lemon juice to disinfect the wound. It will also take the itch out of poison ivy.
To remove fruit, baby formula stains, or rust on colored clothing, mix a paste of cream of tartar and lemon juice. After checking the fabric for colorfastness, apply the mixture and let it set for 15-30 minutes. When stain is lifted, launder as usual.
Taken from:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/35377/
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